How to kill your roommate
by StrawberryDemon
Summary: Sometimes roommates just don't work, you start hating the person and sometimes you do everything to get that one person to move out. as for Kuroko, some things happen to get a bit different... SORRY FOR THE GRAMMAR!
1. Chapter 1

**How to kill your roommate**

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 **Kuroko pov**

It's been three hard months with...

''why does it sounds like you eat in your sleep, why do you snore'' Mika asked. in front of her friends, it's like she doesn't want me to be friends with them. Natsuko Mika... my roommate... god I wish Kagami-kun and Aomine-kun didn't end up moving away together. wish both of them moved in with me. I live in a normal small apartment with only one bedroom... we sleep separately thank god! but still this is a nightmare.

I wait two hours after she has gone to bed because every day she complains about this in front of her friends and every day they come here to visit her. the bad thing her friends are my friends.. what I would give to make her go away. Every day we start hating each other even more.

''you do realize you do the same Natsuko-san'' I said back a bit annoyed.

''yeah but you do it loudly like I can wake up by it'' she said as a matter of fact

''anything else about me you like to share with your friends'' everyone sensed my annoyance I walked away.

''he is just rude sorry about that'' Natsuko-san says to her friends... it's as if I don't even live here. sigh.. I don't normally bother to hate people but, Natsuko is a HUGE exception.

there is not a thing I haven't tried, I tried cooking together but she won't have that, I tried cleaning up after her not even a 'thank you'. I have stopped praising her when she wash the floor since that is the only thing she does. now she is annoyed by not getting a thank you from me.

after 2 months I started trying to kill her. but she won't go in any of my traps. I tried food poison at a restaurant once... it went to a wrong person luckily he survived and, to be honest, that was how me and Kagami-kun met... Aomine-kun still laughs to this day that I food poisoned my best friend.

I tried killing her in her sleep. she hit me without knowing it. I tried to see if I could scare her of by walking around in my boxers for a week... the result in that was her boyfriend asking me out on a date... and they broke up. this is enough... I have even asked her to move in with a good friend of hers that lives close by four times.

when she is home she acts like I don't even exist. no 'good morning, goodnight or just morning' no 'hello nor goodbye' or ''how was your day'' we talk about nothing. I am sick of trying when it's clearly nothing will ever work. sigh... that's right.

Nothing work.

I need a serial killer or an assassin. I grabbed the keys and walked out the apartment. where do I get one? I started walking down the stairs. opened the door and walked out.

where do I get one? maybe the bad alleyway can help. since I have low presence I can do this. other then that I could have got raped by now.

I was about to ask a cute guy with blond hair if he knew someone.

''ano.. '' I started

''GHOOOOST! GHAAAA'' why must this happened every time...

''Kise! Shut up'' a green haired guy with glasses said annoyed.

''um..'' I tried to continue

''GHAAAAAAAAAAAAA how long have you been here?!'' sigh.. I even scared him too...

''I have been here the entire time, I just...'' I said simply

''You do realize how badly things can go for you if you stay here?!''

''I have a low presence so that's ok stranger-kun, I walked in here on purpose, I just wonder If you knew about a place that can help me kill my roommate? without someone knowing she is gone'' the two of them blinked, a bit in shock.

''WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! why would you want that?!'' they said in unison

''Do you want a list? because that can take all day stranger-san''

''sigh... let's just take him to Akashi'' we started walking. wow! this is a business building so high? what if it breaks or something? sigh if I die here, I know I died trying.

we got to a waiting room.

''ok here we are. wait here blue'' did the green haired guy just pat my head and called me blue? I gave him a small smile before he left.

''you know midorimacchi, that's flirting'' Kise said teasing.

''Ohasa predicted a bad day for you today'' Midorima said glared in response, Kise sulked

 **Akashi POV**

they both look like they have really messed up on something.. they are way too quiet.

''Ryouta, Shintarou. what do you need'' I said more like an order

''Akashicchii, we found a new client, but please talk him out of it'' Kise said. interesting...

''for once Kise is right the new client, he is too young Akashi. will you please change his mind.'' making the two of them so stressed for a client is something far from normal. hmm maybe this can be a fun challenge

''I will choose what to do with him, for now. send him in.'' I said. both of them walked away. sigh.. lately everything here has been so boring. I really hope this guy spice things up.

the door opened. hmmm. what... how.. he is right in front of me... so he got low, presence.

''ano.. hello.. Stranger-san'' oh... damn... he is really beautiful... blue... blue eyes... light blue hair, school uniform he is a college student. he may look extremely young but... he must be a college student. I wonder who has made so much trouble for him. he looks so tired, so weak... but at the same time... he is hiding a talent.

''Hello, now tell me your name'' If he is smart he won't give me his full name

''I can't do that if I do you will have a way, too much information on me later on.'' heh. he is clever. well I will find out eventually

''at least, give me your first name'' he will know I can't use that against him.

''Tetsuya'' it's suits him

''Tetsuya'' I tested the name. I like it.

''So what is your problem?'' I asked.

''I need someone to kill my roommate'' he said with a serious look in his eyes.

''so you can't work things out with her or him?''I asked, knowing full well the answer would be no.

''there is not a thing I haven't tried... trust me I tried killing her too but I failed'' he is sulking. cute. fun to see someone trying so hard to get someone to disappear but failing.

''Tetsuya there is only one problem in this''

''Oh? do you mind telling me?'' he asked looking at me with worry.

''can you afford it?''

''how much will it cost?'' Kuroko asked tilting his head to the side.

''500 000 yen'' interesting he isn't even shocked over the price.

''sigh... seems like I have to go back continue killing her myself then, thank you for your time stranger-san'' he pouted. so cute.. heh. no matter what I have to have him. Kuroko was about to leave, when he felt a hand around his wrist, he looked up meeting Akashi's eyes. he can't leave, I am frozen?! was the only thing running through his head.

''Tetsuya. ''

''yes?'' he looked at me, tilting his head to the side.

''there is another way and please call me Akashi'' Akashi said giving Kuroko a smirk. Kuroko smiled brightly to Akashi, with hope in his eyes.. budum... my heartbeat? only for å smile? how badly is his roommate

''it is? what do I have to do Akashi-kun?'' Kuroko asked. continue smiling brightly! Kuroko is not known to show much emotion but, to get rid of her made him so happy!

''that's easy, all you have to do...'' Akashi got closer to Kuroko until both of them was only an inch apart.

then Akashi took his arm around Kuroko's waist and whispered seductively in Kuroko's ear

'' is to marry me, dear''

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 **End of chapter 1**

 **I am not dead I am almost done with the next two chapters in two other knb stories that I do. So don't worry! the school has been killing me lately. so sorry for the waiting.**

 **anyway! everything I write here between Kuroko and Mika... is basically how me and my roommate had it, (she moved out the second week of November 2015! OwO). so it's based on the two of us, don't worry I didn't go to an assassin or serial killer and I didn't try killing her, but sometimes that was a huge temptetion-.-... and we got back as some sort of friends I think I don't care. xD so don't worry^^ and it's thanks to her that this story come, to life xD**

 **anyway, hope you liked the story.. ^^**

 **please review**


	2. Chapter 2

**Good plan**

 **Chapter 2**

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''Is to marry me'' I tilting my head to the side to see if he was serious.

''I must humbly decline'' I bowed down and turned around ready to leave but.. his hand is still around my wrist.

''and why is that dear?'' why does it seems like Akashi-kun is so amused by this?.

''you do realize I am a guy right'' I said. maybe he thinks I am a girl or something. that makes sense. maybe that makes him stop. by the looks of it... I am wrong.

''yes Tetsuya I know, I hear it in your voice and I can see it easily too. so do you have any point in this'' WHAT! then why?! I don't have the looks for it. I tried to continue...

''and my reason for coming here is to kill my roommate, so I can keep my apartment. how will I do that if I get married to you? and what are you gaining out of this?'' I asked, looking at him in the eyes. Akashi smirked at Kuroko's response. why is he this good looking?!

''yes Tetsuya. but you forgetting one thing. if the two of us starts planning our marriage it would mean I will come so often and we will make her move out without needing to do anything.'' Akashi says looking at Kuroko almost like a pray he is playing with, this bastard. I get it.

''so what you really want Akashi-kun is to have sex with me and make her move out with that'' I said simply. I can tell I shocked him a bit to manage to read him so easily, why does he look happy by this?

''heh! your smart love, there you got your answer. but I also need you to marry me''. Akashi says more seriously. I knew it had to be something more.

''may I ask why? why not someone you know or love?'' I asked, not really affected by any of this. I really do have a point in all this. I don't want this guy to waste his time. must be a good reason for him to wanting to marry a random person.

''you may and my father has started finding candidates for me to get married to and I got little to no care for humans. If I have to marry someone I rather have someone I want to rip all clothes of and make them scream for more and I no longer have to live in a mansion. for the two of us, this is a win-win'' Akashi says as a matter of fact, while grinning darkly. he must be tired of his father bossing him around in that mansion otherwise, I don't see the problem.

rip clothes of...

Kuroko blushed hard. but this can work. he really does have a point in all this...

well if I do so I don't have to listen to 'OH MY GOD! WOULD YOU STOP TALKING TOU YOURSELF NO NORMAL PERSON DOES THAT! You sound like you are insane!' there is no question in this I need her either dead or gone.

''Fine! I marry you Akashi-kun'' I said almost as if I was deciding what was for dinner for tomorrow. wait I can make him come for dinner tomorrow! no that won't do. I just got to know him today.

''Good love. as for a start Tetsuya, we should eat a romantic dinner for tomorrow, I need to see what kind of nightmare you lives with and you will need to give me your cell phone number'' he is already reading my mind.

''so much for hiding my full name for 30 minutes'' Kuroko sighed, trying so hard to hide it... but getting married makes him have little but no choice in this.

''heh, cute. I am waiting, Tetsuya'' no need to sound so amused by this... I wrote my number down on some blank paper nearby. done. I looked up again. I know what I have to do know

''It's Kuroko. Kuroko Tetsuya.'' I said sighing

''Akashi Seijuurou''

''What?''

''that's my name Tetsuya'' Akashi said with a smirk. damn, why does this guy make me blush like a school girl?

When a normal person, has to struggle to make me smile or show any form of emotion? stop it!

''I take it that you want me to call you by your first name'' I said bluntly

''yes dear'' this guy has far too much fun with this. it's not even fair.

''very well Akashi-kun''

''Tetsuya by my first name'' he smirked, Sigh.. but no.

''I can't do that yet,'' I said honestly.

''Well then I will make you say my name in 2 weeks, you will need to convince more people'' Akashi says with a smirk. how did this become a challenge? the worst part he is right.

''I can't do that!'' I tried again.

''yes you can and you will,'' Akashi says like an order. but in any way of this... but that is not polite!

''sigh. where should I meet you tomorrow?'' I asked I need him to let this go.

''the train station and don't be late love''

''Very well. goodbye Akashi-kun'' Kuroko was about to turn around again.

''we got a deal love. I see you tomorrow and Tetsuya'' I nodded. for some reason I am looking forward to this, but I can't let Akashi-kun know that. why does it look like he wants to tell me more?

''what?'' I asked

''Remember to give me a goodbye kiss from now on'' Akashi said smirking. Taking his thumb on Kuroko's cheek, looking deeply in my eyes. I want to look away... but those eyes. Why is everything about this guy so damn attractive!

as soon as our lips met. I knew I was screwed. the kiss started off sweet. but Akashi wanted more. Kuroko tried to break the kiss with no luck

''mhf'' Kuroko opened his mouth to try again, Akashi took the opportunity to get his tongue in and deepened the kiss. oh god, my knees are getting weak.

 **1 hour later Akashi POV**

He tasted so good. I could kiss him forever... This will be a dangerous marriage, Tetsuya is far too beautiful for his own good.

''Akashi how did it go, you made him forget it right?'' Midorima asked hopefully.

''no I just got engaged with him'' this was the first time both Kise and Midorima glared darkly at Akashi.

''WHAT!'' all the two of them wanted was to get Kuroko out of this life and now he gets engaged to the biggest demon here!

''Ryouta! Shintarou! Clean the whole building and double rounds'' the result in that was Akashi glaring even darker and scare all of them off.

Tetsuya is mine.

 **Another place**

'' **you are late! This stupid apartment is dirty everywhere!''** well that is what happens when you have friends over every single day! I glared at her.

''your point is? And when did the two of us ever talk expect in front of your friends''

''MY POINT IS CLEAN IT! YOU DO NOTHING AROUND HERE!'' coming from you who can't do anything but washing the floor. stay calm, do not try to kill her. be CALM... oh fuck it!

''that coming from you who hardly cleans anything but the floor and make me take everything else,'' I said with no regrets.

''WHAT THE HELL YOU DO NOTHING! You don't even have friends!'' Natsuko screamed at me.

''might be because I have a job, studies and friends that live far away. Not everyone has such an easy study'' I could see that I had made her anger in many ways even bigger after telling her that.

''I have a different matter to care for. I am meeting my fiance tomorrow don't destroy the apartment too much while I am gone'' I said while trying to smile, which creeped her out even more. I should stop smiling...

''what the hell! What girl in their right mind would want you?!'' she screamed angry yet again.

''sigh, I never said it was a girl'' she was stunned after that. this is the longest conversation we ever have had in 2 weeks. How badly I want her gone. Akashi-kun. Thank you.

what I hope for the most now is, for Akashi-kun not to ask about my failures when it comes to murder tomorrow. but after the little I got to know him today...

I can't think he will let me get away from that easily.

 **End of chapter 2**

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 **Sorry for the long wait and short chapter. Thank you all so much for your reviews, favs and followers!^^ you have no Idea how much it means to me** **J**

 **my exams are done! :D I really hope I will pass... no, I am at the point now where I really don't give a damn. it's done and that is all that matters xD**

 **anyway! THANK YOU ALL!^^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Learning.**

 **Chapter 3**

* * *

 **Akashi Pov**

''So let's start Tetsuya'' Kuroko sighed. having a dinner date at an expensive restaurant, with Akashi is not as easy, as people around here might think... Kuroko kept thinking.

''what do you want to know Akashi-kun?'' Kuroko asked with a sigh...knowing full well there was no way out of this.

''Tetsuya. like it or not we are getting married. and if you want her dead you need to tell me everything. '' Akashi says in a matter of fact and giving a serious look to Kuroko, which make Kuroko know there is really no way out of this. he must tell everything. Kuroko opened his mouth slowly, looking at Akashi almost nervously before he started talking.

''I apologize... I will... her name is Natsuko Mika. she is from Europe but has a father from Japan. don't know what country in Europe... since we barely talk. she is studying Japanese... she has an unnormal or more like unhealthy, obsession with everything Japanese. she had two boyfriends... she hates everything I like. she says that she is a gamer but in all honest, the only thing she plays is one naruto game.'' Kuroko says rather frustrated.

''what happened to her boyfriends'' I asked. Tetsuya really doesn't like this. hmm, this can be interesting.

''well... she broke up with the second guy after 2 weeks... because she found out he was Korean... and not Japanese...'' I will clearly hate this girl no matter what. but it's already easy to analyze her. what I need right now is to get to know Tetsuya more. why didn't he talk about the first guy first, instant, of coming up with the second one? he is hiding something.

''I see and the other guy'' he looks even more uneasy with this one.

''eh..um.. I thought it was a smart thing to go around in the apartment in only boxers for two weeks... to make her move out... I tried to make both her and her boyfriend disgusted with me. but... he ended up falling in love with me instant.'' Kuroko looked away afraid to meet Akashi's eyes. he let someone before me! see him without clothes. no wonder the guy ended up falling for him. it's bad enough when he has them on.

''so how long did you date?'' I asked. Kuroko was a bit shocked. but continue to eat a bit, before saying.

''how did you? well...a month'' that short.. something must have happened to make it this short.

''Tetsuya I am absolute, therefore I know everything. Now who'' why do I get the feeling this is someone I know.. someone like Dai...

''Aomine-kun'' Kuroko says simply. not only is it as I thought, but it's also not a guy like him. it is him.

''don't tell me his first name was Daiki'' Akashi asked, hoping he was wrong.

''How did... you know what never mind... everything was good. until he found out and he started loving me like a brother. so we both broke up. beside. he was really annoying sometimes'' Tetsuya you talk about him so warmly. You still care for him, this is so much coincident it's almost weird. what's more weird is that guy's love for 'Mai-chan' and wanting boobs.. well Tetsuya is indeed beautiful... I'm pretty sure he could make a lot of people go gay for him.

''any other boyfriends or girlfriends I need to know about?''

''um... should I take the ones from middle school to?'' Kuroko asked tilting his head to his left side.

''If any of them are connected to you now then yes''

''two more... one of them was Momoi Satsuki'' I really need to run a background check on him later on! Tetsuya has dated my former assistant from my last workplace. Satsuki was also my friend in high school. how does Tetsuya know both her and Daiki. well, Daiki could have happened to anyone.

''how long did it last''

''a year. but we both wanted to break up after five months'' you smile so warmly about this. almost makes me wonder why it ended. no, I don't need to get sidetracked. I must find out about the last one.

''the last one,'' Akashi says. looking at Kuroko so he would continue telling who. while eating a bit more food.

''Haizaki Shougo'' WHAT! Akashi stopped eating. looking at Kuroko to see if he tried to joke. but there is no joke in Kuroko's eyes.

''and that lasted'' Akashi cut the silence. I am guessing since it's Haizaki it didn't last more than 2 weeks, he is always fast finding new ones.

''2 years'' oh I was... WHAT! when did I start ever being wrong?! no... this is rather interesting. I get to do a challenge for once. seems like your the only person that can still surprise me.

''Haizaki was never known as someone that stayed with anyone long, how did you do it Tetsuya'' Akashi says like an order. Kuroko looked a bit shocked that Akashi knew who it was.

''I was in love with him in middle school and he liked me too. before we knew it two years went by'' Kuroko says simply, trying to avoid any emotions.

''why did you break up''

''he was in love, with Nijimura Shuuzou. without even knowing it'' that's a bitter smile, but in a way he is happy for his ex.

so my captain in basketball, during middle school was Haizaki's crush. I should have seen it the way Haizaki always made trouble for him. I should have seen this one. well, this is rather interesting. the way he eats food when he is distracted by topics and the way he tries to get away from talking too much about his love life.

Kuroko tilting his head towards a high fan girl sound. but seeing the sight of his roommate passing by.. got him a bit more in horror.

''Akashi-kun this place is no longer...'' Tetsuya talks to me almost like an alien invention has taken over the planet.

whatever this cutie does it's adorable. wait what! I must not think too much of this! I need to calm Tetsuya down.

''you saw your roommate I'll take it. well let's take this date another place'' I said with a smile. while getting up from the chair and grabbing my jacket.

''um...'' he looks confused. cute. he thought the date was over. well, I will make him learn nothing is over before I say it's over.

''don't worry. nothing too fancy'' Akashi says with a smirk

 **30 minutes later Kuroko Pov**

nothing fancy he said. why am I watching opera in a first class suite then? the voice of that lady is nice. I feel mean for wanting to go home now. I know is not polite, but I want to sleep. on a soft... soft pillow. warm in a good bed...

that was Kuroko's last thought before he was falling asleep on Akashi's shoulder. Akashi brushed some of Kuroko's hair to the side. what surprised him the most was the soft smile he gained by this.

''you really are beautiful, no matter what you do love.''

* * *

 **end of chapter 3**

 _this story is still based about my former roommate. she lives in Norway tho and she has never had boyfriends because they have to be Japanese and they have to be the typical Kawaii Japanese boys... -.- this was a small part of the suffering I had to live with... but more will come...-.-_

 _ **as for another thing.**_

 **sorry guys I have been so distracted by my or was my crush would have been a better word... only to realize it was a waste of time...**

 **I'm sorry... thank you all for reading my stories.**

 **but I felt like I really needed this long break... I'm still feeling hurt... I don't fall for people often. the last time was 7 years ago... and this hurts badly.. so I'm sorry if this has taking effects on all of the waiting... but I will try my best being better with the updates...**

 **again thanks for reading...**

 **and have a nice day.**


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